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In the blog she talks about different reasons why wives do not have sex and three stood out to me that you may relate too.
BITTERNESS
I have been bitter for the last year
over some financial decisions that my husband made. I keep thinking about where
we could be financially. To be honest, we would almost be debt-free with only a
mortgage payment each month. Every time I look at him I am always thinking
about his financial decisions. This is one of the reasons I have a low sex
drive but to be honest, I am partly to blame because before saying "I do,"
I knew his spending habits and financial situation.
STRESSED
AND WORRIED
I don't know if some of us are born
with the stress gene while others are fortunate not to worry about anything.
Unfortunately, I was born with the stress gene. About one year into our
marriage, I went to my family doctor due to chest pains and anxiety (things I
never experienced before) he said, "Your husband is stressing you out and
you must make some changes." He prescribed worrying less and spending time
doing things I love. I did great for a few years until having my son and then
the stress gene reared its ugly head again. Stress and worry continues to
affect my sex drive.
SEX
IS NOT ON HER TO-DO LIST
Working part-time, being a full-time
mom and having a toddler with tantrums on a weekly basis, makes sex lower on my
to-do list. I try every week to make it a priority but I am usually drained by
9 p.m., which is usually the time my husband is ready for sex.
SOLUTIONS:
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
There are exceptions (sickness, other
physical issues etc.) but the Bible does say that we should NOT deprive each
other, so it does mean we should have sex with our husbands.
2
QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE SAYING "NO" TO SEX
Approximately40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates KatHertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada -Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist.
1. Do you love your husband and want the best for him? Well, he also loves you and his way to show love is through sex.
2.
Do you want to take the risk of him
having sex with someone else because you have not had sex with him for some time?
To read 20 Reasons a Wife Doesn't Want to Have Sex by Jolene of the Alabaster Jar click here.
Please leave
comments, I would love to know what you are thinking.
Link ups:
Link ups:
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| http://raisingmightyarrows.blogspot.com/ |
Found you from Top Ten Tuesdays. I can relate to your post... especially the stress part! From my experience, our sex lives as a married couple highly impacts the rest of our relationship. I definitely agree with all you said.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by. I love your blog. I will be participating in the Winter Wonder Week!
DeleteHi Delora,
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm completely humbled by your sweet words! So glad that I was able to help you pinpoint some areas that cause you to struggle regarding the marriage bed. Oh, and I think everyone woman has the stress gene attached to her DNA, that's why Jesus told us not to worry! And the bitterness thing....well, that's got to be dealt with before it destroys your marriage. Continually sitting at Jesus' feet is always the best way to deal with both those issues! Keep living for Him, friend.
Jolene, thanks so much for leaving a comment. I look forward to your posts each week. Thanks for the encouragement!
DeleteI found your blog through Jolene, and I'm so glad I did. I can relate to all three reasons in my own marriage as well, but then I remember that when I married my Dear Hubby, I volunteered to consider him in every decision I make and I voluntarily gave him control of my body (just as he gave me control of his). Sexuality it not focused on "me" and "what I need" and "when I'm horny" Now I have a greater calling to minister to my husband and focus on him and what he needs and filling the sexual desires of his heart. Isn't that just a blessing?
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by. Thanks for the reminder about focusing on my husband's needs. What a great website you have!
DeleteI look forward to staying connected.
Before I got married, my dad took me aside and gave me some advice about sex. "Try to never say no, and remember your husband has needs." True my dad did not mention that women have needs too, but that was learned along the way. I would be suspicious of a man who did not want to have sex with his wife. Then I have a questioning nature. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi! Thanks so much for stopping by. You are right about being suspicious if a man does not want to have sex with his wife.
DeleteGreat points! Hoping this brings lots of joy to many marriages out there. Found you from the better mom blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by from the Better mom blog. I look forward to staying connected. Have a great Monday!
ReplyDeleteHi Delora, thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. :) I'm all too familiar with this topic. Unfortunately, me and my husband are switched. I have always been the one who loves sex and he is affected by every.little.thing.under.the.sun. If the planets are not aligned, it don't happen. Okay, not so dramatic but I think you get my point. lol. I have yet to find an article or sermon which touches on when roles are reversed in the sex and intimacy dept.
ReplyDeleteI would also love to see someone tackle when the husband will not have relations.
DeleteI always have seen sex as one way my husband really feels loved...as a man. Yes, I can do sweet little things for him like rub his feet or make sure his favorite food/drink is in the house..but nothing makes him feel more like a man than our intimate relationship. That makes me want to do it.
ReplyDeleteBlessing to you on tackling a subject that most people don't want to talk about but is an important part of marriage.
Thanks for stopping by Jacki. I love your link-up days!!!!
ReplyDeleteno I do not agree on person should be able to pick and choose when to have sex. I should be a choose for the two. and I believe u should have it often
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ReplyDelete