Sunday, May 5, 2013

My Lack of Respect for my husband Led to my Son’s Disrespect

Tips on How to Respect Your Husband Again


Hi Link-up friends!

I want to share a story with you (please don’t judge but pray for my family). Since I started writing this blog I made a vow to always be honest so here we go….

 I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years in May. Since being diagnosed with mental illness it has been difficult for me to respect him, listen to him and quite frankly, tolerate him. My unnecessary outbursts of “please shut up, take your pills and go to sleep, you need help!” Somehow trickled down to my 3 year old who started to say “be quiet daddy” along with other comments that led me to really seek God about my respect for the husband he sent me over 7 years ago. 

My combative ways started to affect the way my son saw his father, which meant I was off the Godly path to uplifting my household.
Here are 3 Ways to gain your husband’s respect again:


  •    Ask for Forgiveness-Be honest about your thoughts and how they have led to your disrespect

  •       Reaffirm to your husband that he is the head of the house (1 Cor. 11:3). Let him know that you respect his decisions although you may not always agree with every decision.


  • Stop bad mouthing your husband to friends, family members and strangers. Start uplifting him when around others and telling them how great of a husband he is (although his change may still be in progress).


Making these simple changes in my life, have made a difference in my relationship. Now, my son respects his father more than ever, because he sees how much I respect my husband. 



Link Ups:


www.happywivesclub.com


 

 

 

 

 

 

 






15 comments:

  1. Hopped from Titus 2sday. So many women do need to hear this. Respecting our husbands comes in many forms. Some are not out right disrespectful, such as badmouthing him in front of others, and yelling,etc. But, sometimes disrespect comes in subtle comments, thoughts that are less than positive, or in my case I just wasn't doing things to uplift him or encourage him in any way. I had let the things of life just have me in a rut, going through life just getting by.... God nudged my heart through some hard things and constantly showed me that I was not doing as His word commands. "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33 -I realized that in some areas I didn't trust him with my thoughts or my worries. That broke my heart. He is my best friend, yet I wasn't treating him as such. We are created to glorify the Lord, and I saw things that were not glorifying in my attitude and my actions. May the Lord show you ways to help, love, honor and adore your husband and to accept him just as God made him. It is a work in progress and I thank God that His mercies are new every day! Thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for stopping by. I look forward to staying connected. Piper, I also wasn't doing things to uplift my husband but that is now my goal each second of the day. Thanks for your great thought provoking response.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Delora, one of my absolute favorite books on marriage is called The Surrendered Wife. Oddly enough, the book was written by a feminist. But what I love most about it is if a feminist can figure out how to respect and surrender to her husband, we most certainly should be able to do the same! Thanks for linking up so we could find this post :).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks so much for stopping by. Now I have to check out the Surrendered Wife book (smile).

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for being so real and vulnerable about yourself in this post, Delora. I'm certain there are a lot of women who can identify. I've been there and have seen how my disrespectful attitude has rubbed off on my sons. And as they've grown, I think it has harmed their respect for me as well as my husband. So I wholeheartedly agree, it's so very important to respect our spouses. Thanks for the challenge and reminder. And thanks for stopping by my place as well, my new found friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Beth, thanks so much for stopping by. I also enjoyed your blog post. Look forward to staying in touch.

      Delete
  6. Stopping by from the happy Wives club. You are so right, kids will pick up on the smallest things and copy our every move.
    I love how you are so honest on this subject here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. I love your blog on "How is your tone"

      Delete
  7. Wow, Delora. No judgment here. I appreciate your transparency. Children are such sponges and they pick up everything we do. I still don't quite know why kids pick up the negative things we do SO much easier than the good stuff. Must be that somehow they sense the bad stuff as being those things we recognize as important (maybe because we tell them not to repeat it).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks so much for stopping by Fawn. I always wonder why kids pick up the bad stuff but that just helps me think of what I am saying before saying it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Delora,
    So glad you linked this up at Matrimonial Monday. I choose this post to feature next Monday. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you so much for the comment an opportunity. I look forward to staying connected.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow this is really beautiful, Delora. I really appreciate your honesty and honestly, I think we all need to be reminded of this and the power of our words. I once called a driver a stupid jerk in front of my then 2-3 year old son, and he repeated "toopid joik."

    My sister's husband is mentally ill and she has sort of become his caretaker and has to constantly try and make him take his pills.

    I have a brother with alzheimers and his wife, my sister in law, is his caretaker.

    It's not easy when you have to be in that position with a spouse. But, as you said, it's the spouse God has given you and they deserve to be treated with respect, just as you said! Thanks for linking up today!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you for stopping by, I love reading your blogs and linking up weekly!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Saw the link on Matrimonial Monday. Praying with you for the both of us, as I have a similar issue for which I need to repent.

    ReplyDelete