Sunday, August 18, 2013

Don't Settle in Your Marriage!

I was leaving church this morning when one of my closest friends, came up to me in tears. She has been married for almost 20 years with 3 kids and feels unappreciated, unhappy, and confused. While seeing her in tears, I felt no empathy or sympathy, why? Because she has spoken to me about this same issue for the past 3 years. I keep asking over and over again, why or you settling? This is also my question to you reading this blog, why are you settling for a mediocre marriage?


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I hear more of my friends (including myself) complain about our marriages over being happy. Could it be due to setting unrealistic expectations for our husbands, being financially independent or just the signs of the times? I think it may be all 3 of the above. As women, how can we avoid settling in our marriages?



1. Pray

We see this word all the time, but nothing is more powerful than prayer. God reveals his plans for our lives and provides direction.

Psalms 32: 8-I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

 2. Be accountable for your actions.

When we said "I do," there were certain things we wanted to change about our husbands, but it never happened. If your husband was a spender, more than likely you are still struggling with that same issue. This means we can't fully hold our husbands accountable for not changing, we need to hold ourselves accountable for thinking we can be God and change someone.


3. List 3 reasons why you are settling/ Then come up with realistic solutions.

 For example: My husband is a great father but not attentive to my needs.

Solution: Since he is not a mind-reader, I will let him know what I need.


4. Have an "exit-plan":

In the Christian community we are encouraged to avoid an exit-plan and work everything out. Unfortunately, we do not live in a fantasy world. Marriages don't always work out and we must survive when it is all over. What will you do if your marriage suddenly ends?


Most marriages can be worked out and we don't have to settle. Having honest conversations, holding ourselves accountable and finding solutions will help us not settle in our marriages.

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