Secret Life of Christian Women: I hate my husband and I am Unhappy

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I battled with doing these short series of blogs for over a year. Things recently changed when I had lunch with a Christian friend who said, "Sometimes I wish I can just beat my husband to death, maybe then I will be happy again." Why are so many Christian women struggling in their marriages and why does the divorce rate continue to rise in the Christian community? I do not know all the answers, but I know that we need to do something. If it means me writing a blog so that other women can freely express their fears and pain, then I am happy to do so.

The feminist movement began in the 18th Century but the evidence of the movement started to surface in the 1960s and 1970s when the mass entry of women into the workforce and the Pill changed women's traditional role within the family. Feminists demanded the right to abortion on demand, free childcare provision and equal pay. Many have said that this led to the unhappiness of women.

According to a Huffington Post (2009) article, "since 1972, women's overall level of happiness has dropped, both relative to where they were forty years ago, and relative to men." It goes on to state that by the time women reach age forty-seven, they are, overall, less happy with their life than men, and the trend continues on down from there. So you are asking what does unhappiness have to do with hating our husbands?  According to a New York Post, it has everything to do with why we hate our husbands.

Now, more mothers work (out of the home), then head home to clean, cook, help with homework and find time to have unpleasurable sex with their husband. Why would we not be unhappy? I must admit that my feelings toward my husband are not that different from my friends. Every time I discuss my unhappiness with other Christian women, they just say that things will get better and provide me with endless scriptures. Instead of only providing you with scriptures I also want to give you some practical steps that can be taken to improve the way we feel toward our spouses.

• Write down the positive things about your husband on a note card and refer to it every day!
• Pray for him every day! This is something I stop doing and need to start doing again.     (Philippians 1:6, Psalm 119:73, Psalm 37:23,1 Corinthians 1:3).
• When the time is right, discuss your concerns with your husband (the time is never right when you are having an argument).
• Seek counseling and to be fair to your husband, avoid receiving counseling from your local   pastor. 

If you have other suggestions please share it with us. I look forward to reading your comments. I looked forward to connecting with my fellow bloggers today!

Listen, observe and then speak!

Hi to my friends at time-warp wife.blogspot, I look forward to our Titus 2sday Link Up Party!

 Last weekend I had a rare chance to sit down and watch a movie I rented from Redbox. A Thousand Words is a movie starring Jack (Eddie Murphy) who has a problem we all have at times and that is, talking too much. Jack's (Eddie Murphy’s) life comes unglued after a magical Bodhi tree mysteriously appears in his backyard. With every word Jack speaks, a leaf falls from the tree and he realizes that when the last leaf falls, both he and the tree are toast. To sum it all up Jack (Eddie Murphy), had to learn to talk less and listen more.

The Message Bible says in James 1:19, “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.” With our busy lives it is sometimes frustrating to listen to what someone is saying without interrupting or interjecting. I sometimes say, "I have stuff to do, get to the point."


Do you say that same thing sometimes? Looking back, I can't imagine how I make my husband and child feel. I forget that life is not all about me. Taking time for others is what we are called to do.  My new motto: Listen, observe and then speak!

How will you take time to listen to others this week?

Challenge:
Can you join me for one week and try to talk less and listen more?