Secret Lives of Women: Being Obedient and Lonely

For over 6 months I have been struggling with sharing something really personal. Since the inception of this blog I promised to always be truthful and discuss things I know other women are struggling with.  The day I decided to finally be obedient and do what was on my heart for so many years, was the day I realized most of my “so-called friends” wanted me to fail and not succeed. Today I want to discuss what comes along with being obedient. This may mean, saying goodbye to someone you thought was a friend.

My Last 3 Years:

I have always been a people pleaser with dreams that were placed on the back burner so that those around me could shine. About three years ago, this all changed as I rocked my 3 month old to sleep and had to find creative ways to help him sleep. I started singing a song I wrote off the cuff and my colicky baby calmed down. I thought it was a flook until I did it again and again for about 3 weeks and got the same results and wrote 3 songs. Secretly, I always wanted to be a singer but suppressed those feelings. During those tough months with a colicky baby, God’s presence became known more than ever. At that point I knew he was calling me to do music, but I ignored his call for over two years.  Why?

•  As a new mom, I did not want to be away from my child too much.

•  I was not as skilled as other singers. I kept thinking to myself, “who wants to hear me sing?”

As I kept using those two excuses God reminded me of John 10:10:

A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. (MSG)

Tossing and turning one night, I finally gave in to his call, completed my first EP that can be found at reverbnation and my WORST FEAR CAME TRUE. My Christian friends, who knew me as a meek, weak, and indecisive individual, became my worst critics and in some cases, my enemies.

During the last 6 months I have never felt more alone but alive doing what God called me to do.  As I meet with other women and read encouraging blogs from link ups, I realize that I am not alone and others are facing the same struggles.

There are 2 major things that I notice happens when we are obedient.

• We lose friendships!

Some people are in our lives for a “Season, reason and life time.” Instead of allowing bitterness or anger to take over, let us choose to reminisce on the great times we had with former friends and cherish those times. Without those friendships, we will not be where we are today. Additionally, we would be unable to appreciate new friendships!

• God Rewards us!

All through the Bible we see that obedience leads to rewards not only for us by our descendants (Genesis 22:18, Exodus 19:5, Luke 11:28)

   Let us reclaim the life God wants us to have as wives, moms, and business owners and be obedient, even if it means being alone.  

“I find the doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans.” 

 ~ George Macdonald

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